


Help (I Don’t Need Any)

by HappyThoughtsHappiness



Series: You Aren’t Alone Verse [1]
Category: Avengers, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Baby!Tony, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky is insecure, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Clint tries to fix it, Gen, Infantilism, Inspired By SailorChibi, Littles Are Known, More tags maybe later, Multi, No Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, No Endgame, Not Endgame Related, Panic Attacks, Sam is in this for a few moments, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony is Sweet, headpaces, not very descriptive on the attack but it’s still there, teen!Bucky, trigger warning: panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 16:47:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18627241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappyThoughtsHappiness/pseuds/HappyThoughtsHappiness
Summary: Bucky is left to babysit Tony while the team goes off and tries to find out why Tony is stuck in headspace. While they’re gone, Bucky deals with insecurities of his own. Clint tries to help.





	Help (I Don’t Need Any)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Baseline](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10512852) by [SailorChibi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorChibi/pseuds/SailorChibi). 



> There is no references at all to Endgame. I will moderate the comments for now, so no one can anonymously post spoilers. There’s is a slight description of a panic attack towards the end. Enjoy!

For a quick second, Bucky thinks about escaping the situation, taking a jet and getting the hell out of the compound for a few days, or however long Steve’s mission is. But then, after that second, he feels guilty. He loves Tony, the baby is so sweet and makes all the darkness go away with just a giggle and a smile. And he’d do anything for Steve, even if it made him uncomfortable to do so, or took a lot of effort. So that’s why he feels guilty for wanting to leave at the moment-but he’s in his own headspace as well, teen or not. 

Tony is refusing to let go of Steve, and the man has to leave in the next ten minutes. The little had already woken up grumpy, going from not wanting to be held or touched to refusing to let go of Steve, and now with his daddy leaving, Tony was hysterical. Bucky knew what had to happen-ripping of the bandaid and Steve running out the door, but Steve was too much of a softie to do so. And thinking back to his one second thought of abandonment (Sam, no matter how good he was with Littles, would never forgive him for leaving him with a sobbing baby) he took action.

“Come ‘ere, doll,” Bucky muttered, easily taking Tony out of Steve’s arms and trapping him against his hip. Tony was not happy, squirming and crying as he reached for Steve, but Bucky didn’t budge, instead grabbing Steve’s shoulder and marching him to the door. “Tony and I will see you to the jet. The team is waiting for you, Tony will be okay.” Steve didn’t even reply, blankly following Bucky’s orders.

Once they were at the jet, despite Tony’s attempts to slow them down, Bucky allowed the baby to grasp Steve’s shirt. “Dada, no go,” Tony pleaded. “No go.” Steve looked seconds away from tears himself too, sharing a look with Bucky, one the man knew too well. A subtle shake of his head got Steve back on track. 

“Dada will be back so soon, Tony. You won’t even notice I’m gone.” Steve drops a kiss to Tony’s head, brushing away tears at the same time, before running off into the jet, only looking back once. Before Tony can even attempt to follow-and boy, is he trying-the platform rises, and seconds later the jet takes off, leaving Bucky, Tony, (and by extension Sam) behind. Tony’s sobs have begun to die down to sniffly cries, Bucky doesn’t feel any less sympathetic.

“Let’s go inside, doll. Maybe Sam will make ya’ his famous grilled cheese.” Tony sticks his thumb in his mouth and doesn’t reply, but the tell-tale rumble of his stomach answers for him. Steve probably wasn’t able to get Tony to eat much, given the fact Tony spent most of the morning crying, so any calories (even if it was grilled cheese calories at nine in the morning) was good enough for Bucky.

“We’re gonna be just fine.”

——-

“You so sure about that?” Sam was lying on the couch, his broken foot propped up on a couple of pillows. Bucky glared back at him, though it didn’t do much when he was covered in baby powder, dried spots of formula on his shirt, and spit up down his back. Tony wasn’t having the best day. “Why don’t you just do what Steve said yesterday-“

“I don’t need to call Rhodes!” Bucky snapped back, wincing when Tony began to cry again, upset at the surprise. Wrapping Tony back into his blanket, Bucky ignored his disgusting shirt, and pulled the baby back into his lap. “I can handle this. Tony is just having a bad day.” Sam gave him a look-his usual therapist look, not pity, but thoughtfulness and way too invasive for what Bucky wanted right now. Steve had told him the day before, that if he needed anything, to call Rhodes. 

Bucky, though he didn’t say it, felt insulted. He’d taken care of Tony many times before, with no problems at all. Sure, this was his first “overnight” babysitting, but he could handle it. He knew Rhodes had the best techniques (something about the way he held Tony would instantly get the baby to stop crying) but he also had two decades of caring for Tony. Bucky felt like he needed to prove himself-like when Natasha would push him aside to dress Tony (it was unfair how well she could wrangle him so quickly into a onesie) or when Clint could manage to feed Tony anything he’d been refusing the whole meal.

Then there was Bruce, who Tony followed around like a little duckling, amazed at the scientist. Thor, who could get the baby from crying to laughing in seconds, tantrums forgotten. So yeah, Bucky felt the need to prove himself. He could take care of Tony. 

“Are you sure? Because no one would blame you for needing a moment. I’d totally watch him if I could right now, but I’m sure he’d run off and I can’t catch him on one leg.” Bucky shook his head-he could do this. Steve was counting on him to watch Tony, and he wasn’t about to call for backup, or a savior. He could handle any thing thrown at him. Ignoring Sam’s sigh, he stood, Tony cradled in his arms. 

“We’re gonna go rest, call me if you need something.” Before Sam could reply, he was out of the living room, headed to the nursery at top speed. At least he could get some privacy there.

———-

It had been three hours since Steve had left, two since Tony’s second meltdown, and now the baby was sleeping soundly in the playpen that Bucky had set up in the gym. Sure, he was only running for now, but he figured if he was going to try and keep Tony on his schedule (two naps a day was hard to do) he might as well make it easy on him. He’d given up on the nursery, deciding to set up Tony’s play pen, letting the baby tire himself out in the gym by throwing some rubber balls around. 

He’d wiped off all the gunk from earlier, and just decided to do a run, knowing too intense of a workout would risk waking Tony. The tv was on closed captioning, low volume, and Bucky found himself at peace for the first time that day. He felt bad for thinking that-it wasn’t Tony’s fault he got so upset, being a baby little and all, especially with what the new normal was now. 

Tony hadn’t been big in three months. It had  
happened after a mission, Tony had gone to bed normally with no issues, woken up little. But after a week in headspace, he’d shown no signs of getting out of it. The second week they d grown more concerned, and by the end of the first month Bruce was running tests, all inconclusive. That’s where Steve and some of the others were right now-investigating the base of the last mission, running tests to see what had gone down to make Tony’s big headspace seemingly disappear. 

A small sound shook him out of his thoughts, and Bucky turned to find Tony peering up from his spot in the play pen, watching him with bleary eyes. Smiling, Bucky hopped off the treadmill, making his way over to the baby. Tony smiled at him when he got close, the hulk pacifier in his mouth bobbing more furiously. “How was your nap, little doll?” Humming, Bucky plucked Tony out of the crib, grinning wider when the baby let out a couple of soft coos. “That good, huh? Is the fussy baby gone? Did ya’ just need a nap?” Giving Tony a couple of butterfly kisses, getting the baby to giggle, Bucky made his way out the gym and back to the nursery. 

“We’ll get ya’ changed, sweetpea, then we’ll see what we can make for lunch.”

As Tony babbled in reply, Bucky felt all the insecurities drift away-he was totally handling this, and it wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. He would prove to Steve, to all of them, that he didn’t need back up, that he could handle this on his own. 

—-

Tony, tummy full and still happy, was sitting in his baby-pillows and watching the tv screen like he’d never seen it before-it was some sort of baby-friendly cartoon, musical and way too many colors for Bucky’s sanity. However, it was worth it to hear the baby giggle and laugh, after a whole morning of crying. Sam was in the dining room, getting a little movement going so he’d be back to normal once his foot healed, but Bucky figured the man also couldn’t handle the gooey-sweetness of the show.

“You havin’ fun, baby doll?” Bucky asked. Tony turned his head to grin back at him. “I’m glad. You got another thirty minutes before some rest, okay baby?” Pouting, Tony wrinkled his nose and turned back around, huffing. Hiding his laughter-Tony was adorable pouter-Bucky  
reclined back on the couch, finally enjoying a moment of peace. 

“Sup’ Buckaroo?” A voice called from above-startling Bucky enough to leap out of his seat. Above him, hanging out of the ceiling vent, was Clint, grinning from ear to ear. Sitting back down, annoyed, even despite Tony’s happy laughter, Clint leapt from the vent, landing perfectly. “And how’s my favorite boy?” Clint easily pulled Tony into his arms, blowing raspberries against Tony’s cheek. The baby dissolved into giggles, falling against the ground in a puddle of laughter and squirming away from Clint. 

“He’s got a nap in ten minutes.” Clint stopped his tickling and teasing to peer up at Bucky, an odd look on his face that he couldn’t decipher. “What? He does. You’re just rilling him up.” 

Clint, thankfully, picked up on his stiff body language and tone, helped Tony to stand. “You got ten minutes to be in your crib, little man. I’m gonna come and check soon so I better not see any little toys laying around.” Tony scampered off with a little giggle, running down the hallway quicker than Bucky had seen before.

“I had him handled.” 

“I know you did, Buck.” Clint took a spot next to him on the couch. “I figured he had a hard morning with Steve leaving, so I thought I’d stop by to help.”

“Don’t need any help.”

“I can see that.” Clint smiled at him-but Bucky wasn’t happy. “What? I do. Tony adores you, man. I totally thought you had it covered. I just figured Tony was giving you a hard time and l have come to see Tony no matter who was watching him.”

Bucky wasn’t convinced-but he didn’t let it show, giving Clint a weak smile in return. He knew the team would be concerned of him watching Tony-even if he was a teen in his own headspace. They simply treated him with kid-gloves, always watching what they said to him, being too kind, not telling him what he needed to hear. Hell, he once purposely failed at a mile run, going way slower than his usual pace, and Steve said he was improving. The only one who didn’t treat him like a kid was Tony, the actual “kid” of the group. Now, his one backup was stuck in headspace, and Bucky never felt more alone.

“Okay,” he said, filling the awkward silence. “I believe you. I guess I’m a little tired.” He shares a smile, which Clint happily took-ignoring the moments of silence. 

“It’s cool. Let me guess, he wouldn’t let go of Steve and you had to pry him out of Steve’s arms?” Bucky snorted-it was a usual reaction from Tony. Everyone of them had experience in wrestling away the baby from the super solider. 

“Yeah. Cried the whole morning until his first nap, then woke up all smiles and giggles.”

“That’s our Tony.” Clint flocked the tv from whatever show Tony had been watching to the baby cam monitor, and the pair smiled when the image of Tony-asleep in his crib, appeared on screen. One of his legs was hanging off the side (no one had been there to pull up the side of the crib) and he was sucking his thumb. “Too cute for his own good though.”

“Yeah.” Bucky smiled. “He is.”

———

Long after Tony’s nap ended, Bucky is feeding Tony his favorite comfort food: spaghetti. The man loves the dish, Italian roots and all, and with a hard day for the both of them, it’s really needed. Tony’s face is covered in sauce, but the baby looks so happy that Bucky doesn’t mind the mess, he was going to give Tony a bath anyways, and he laughs when the baby crosses his eyes to look at the sauce on the top of his nose. 

Sam has long since gone to bed, pain medication acting in full force, but Bucky still has a plate saved for him in the fridge. Clint took his plate to the office to finish some paperwork, why he didn’t just bring the paperwork to the table, Bucky doesn’t know. Either way, it’s just him and Tony, and the baby’s eyes are drooping-even with two separate hour and half naps a day. 

He grabs a washcloth off the counter, and much to the baby’s displeasure, began cleaning Tony’s face, tutting at the whines. “Yeah yeah yeah, Uncle Bucky is a big old meanie for getting you clean.” He tossed the washcloth aside, then undid the tray from the high chair and released Tony from the straps. He’d leave the dishes for when Tony was in his crib, asleep. 

“You need help with Tony’s bath?” Clint called, once again butting in. Bucky rolls his eyes, careful that Tony doesn’t see, and shakes his head. Clint keeps popping up at the worst times, sneaking in to try and ‘help’ or more like take over the babysitting, which is what Bucky doesn’t want.

“I got it.”

“You sure? It’s hard to get him in the bath when Steve isn’t here. Nat and I usually team up when it’s out babysitting duty.” Bucky considered this for a moment-Tony wasn’t really a fan of water, and he did know from experience getting him to bathe in the tub was very hard-but he had something to prove here. He could handle anything with Tony on his own. 

“Nah,” he faked a smile. “I got it.” To please Clint, and hopefully get him off his case about ‘helping’ he asked “Could you get a bottle for him going? He ate a lot dinner but he needs the extra calories, ya know?” Clint, thankfully, was happily satisfied, giving Bucky a wide smile and nodding along. 

“You got it, Buckaroo, I’ll get the dishes in the dishwasher too.” Bucky didn’t bother to verbally reply, giving a grateful nod Clint’s way, taking Tony up to the nursery and hopefully, into an easy bath. With the baby so tired, it will hopefully be quick and painless.

———

“No Bucky, no!” Tony’s tear-streaked face hit right at Bucky’s soul, making every scrub of the duck-shaped sponge down Tony’s body feel like he was stabbing the baby. Tony had not liked the bath at all, crying pitifully when he was placed in the bath. Bucky hadn’t known Tony would freak out this much, and the little finger shaped bruises in Bucky’s forearms accounted for a visual representation of how much Tony did not like a bath. He was very thankful Tony didn’t need his hair washed.

“We’re almost done, doll. Let me rinse you off so we can get you dried and into your pjs.” He took the little cup-still duck themed-and collected the water. At the same time, Tony attempted to stand, knocking the cup and some of the water splashed onto his face. 

Everything was stuck in time for a moment, where Bucky could only watch in horror as Tony realized what had happened, looking devastated, horrified and scarred all in one. Before Bucky could react, Tony burst into horrified sobs, leaping out of the tub and into Bucky’s arms. Water split everywhere as Bucky quickly maneuvered to avoid his or Tony’s head hitting anything, and he sat shell-shocked as Tony let out little sob-screams. 

Clint burst through the door, taking in the scene with wide eyes. Instantly, he grabbed Tony’s towel and quickly draped it over Tony. “Clint-What-“ Bucky stuttered out, watching as Clint plucked Tony out his arms, the baby going willingly, clutching at Clint like a life-line. Clint didn’t spare him a glance as he took Tony into the nursery, Bucky left behind to watch. Slowly he stood, careful of the water, and watched from the bathroom doorway as Clint rocked Tony back and forth, murmuring in his ear.

“Clint-it was just an accident-I didn’t mean-“

“I know,” Clint brushes a few tears off of Tony’s face, as Tony’s sobs tapered off into quieter cries, yet more intensely gripping Clint. “It happens. That’s why we usually have two people for bath time, especially when Steve isn’t here.” He laid Tony on the changing table, turning on the mobile and giving Tony a pacifier with a soft baby cloth attached to the end. “Could you get his pajamas?”

“Yeah.” He grabbed the softest pair he could find, knowing how badly he fucked up. Tony didn’t deserve his selfish desire to prove himself. Tony was innocent and easy to please, and Bucky had fucked it up by not protecting him properly. “I messed up real bad.” Bucky muttered, setting aside the sleeper as Clint taped a diaper on Tony. Clint gave him a look-one Bucky, again, could not quite decipher. 

“You didn’t. It was just a bad thing that happens sometimes.” Tony, still crying but slowly calming down, didn’t look away from the mobile. “It’s just something that we have to be careful doing with Tony.” Clint, with a skill Bucky knew came from years of flexibility, quickly got Tony into the sleeper without so much as a whine from the baby. “It wasn’t your fault, Bucky.”

Clint plucked Tony off the table, letting the baby burrow his face into Clint’s neck. “Could you grab his bunny and blanket? He’s gonna want to sleep in one of our beds tonight.” 

Bucky followed the orders. Heat radiated down his spine, shame filling his heart just the same. Had he just accepted Clint’s help, Tony wouldn’t have been triggered. He caused Tony’s pain out of selfishness, out of deep self-loathing, and he had no idea what to do from here. 

“Hey man,” Clint took his arm, snapping him out of his thoughts. “It’s fine. Tony is gonna be fine,” for emphasis, he adjusted Tony’s body to face Bucky, and tentatively smiled as Tony held out a shaky hand to Bucky, an attempt at comforting the man. “See? Tony still loves you, right baby?” Tony nodded, but still, Bucky wasn’t convinced-Tony was still crying.

“Maybe he should stay with you.” Bucky handed over the bunny, avoiding Clint’s gaze to watch Tony cuddle the toy. “I think I’ve screwed up enough today.” 

“You haven’t, though.” Clint took the blanket from Bucky’s hands and covered Tony with it. “You did well all day. Sam told me how well you handled everything today.” So it was true-they updated each other on him. He hated the way it made him feel-childish and ashamed, heat radiating to his cheeks.

“Sam shouldn’t have to tell you, Clint.” Bucky was seething. “I don’t need all of you keeping tabs on me all the time. I’m not a kid.” Clint held up a hand in defense, rocking Tony back and forth to distract him-hopefully the baby would fall asleep before Bucky really let it out. “I can handle Tony just fine on my own. In fact, before he got stuck in headspace, he was the only one who didn’t treat me with kid-gloves. I don’t need you all watching me every moment of every day. I’m not a little like Tony, I’m self sufficient, and I can certainly handle a baby’s tantrums and tears.”

They stood in silence for a few moments, Clint avoiding his gaze this time, rocking Tony against his hip. Tony, for his credit and to both their astonishment, was on his way to sleep, eyes closed and letting out little sniffly breaths past his pacifier. Bucky felt himself drain, everything he’d been holding in flowing out like the way Tony’s tears had. 

“I just want everyone to know that I’m independent. I know none of you are doing this because you don’t believe I can’t do it, but your way of showing you care makes me feel small.” The look Clint have him was filled with something Bucky knew wasn’t pity, but confusion. 

“We know that, Bucky.” Clint huffed, looking at Tony, asleep in his arms, then placed him in the crib ever so carefully, making sure the blanket fully covered Tony and that the baby was comfortable. He pulled up the side of the crib, carefully locking it. “We keep tabs on you the same way we keep tabs on everyone else. I keep tabs on you the same way I make sure Natasha doesn’t go into her head after missions. I keep tabs on Tony to make sure he’s eaten enough and actually relaxes.” 

Bucky found himself in the rocking chair, mulling over Clint’s words. “Then why does it feel like you all treat me like a kid?” Clint shrugged his shoulders, crossed his arms, and stared back at Bucky. “I just feel like everyone treats me differently. Like I’ll explode if you all don’t try and help me at every turn.”

“Well, none of us feel this way.” Clint took a seat on the floor, staring at Tony’s sleeping form. “Maybe-maybe with Tony’s situation the way it is, we’ve all been expressing our stress by taking it out on you in a weird way. Maybe we thought that if we helped you, or kept an eye on you, you wouldn’t be in permanent headspace the way Tony is.” Clint confessed, rubbing at his temples. Bucky was caught a bit off guard though, raising an eyebrow.

“You think this is permanent for Tony? He’ll never be back in his adult headspace?” 

“I-I don’t know,” Clint reaches through the crib bars to rub at Tony’s cheek, easing the baby’s little stressed sucks. “I don’t want to fear the worse, but I can’t help but fear we’ll never see big Tony again. I know it’s healthier for Tony to be little, his biology, but if it’s true, I’ll miss our sarcastic man.”

Bucky snorted. “Please, even baby Tony finds a way to be sarcastic.”

“That’s true.” 

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, watching Tony sleep-the little noises he made as he dreamed, the way he kicked his socked feet, the little murmurs he made-all peaceful. Bucky didn’t think his feelings were fixed-he still felt badly, but something else dawned on him from Clint’s explanation.

“I’m a teen little, Clint,” he laughed. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I’m a self-sufficient little, Clint,” he explained, noting Clint’s confusion. “The most you’d deal with is more grumpiness or back-talking. I do that now. I’m not the little on the team who needs supervision.” Ugh, their caregiver tendencies had crossed over from Tony to him. “I am literally the little who can handle being on his own.”

Finally getting it, Clint laughed-quiet enough not to wake Tony, “That’s on us, buddy. Guess when one of us hasn’t seen Tony in awhile we attack you with a bit too much overbearing caregiver-ness than you need. I promise we’ll stop. Or, everyone but Steve.”

“Yeah,” Bucky tolled his eyes-Steve was a whole other animal. “But thanks, Clint. It means a lot.” He shared a smile-real this time, with Clint, before going back to watch Tony. It was getting late, even for them. “You want to go grab the extra blankets and bring them in here? I don’t think Tony would be happy to be moved or wake up alone, so it looks like we’re camping here tonight.”

Not even replying, Clint’s eyes grew wide with delight (the literal child) and he dashed out the nursery as quietly as he could, throwing two thumbs up at Bucky as he passed. Assuming it was happening, Bucky settled in the chair. He would clean the bathroom in the morning. It was something that could wait, what was more important was making sure Tony slept well.

And, for the first time in a long time, Bucky finally felt confident. He would hate the impending talks he’d have with the team about all of their actions as a whole (and his feelings regarding those actions) but it would be worth it-especially if meant he got some moments of alone time. 

But right now, watching Tony’s peaceful form, waiting for Clint to join him, he didn’t want to be alone.

He was happy where he was.


End file.
